The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
