I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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