Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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