She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize