You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Terrible idea I love it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
