Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
