I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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