After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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