Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
