you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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