PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
