We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You dont lie about slip and slides
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
