I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
