Jerry, you need to find god
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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