i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
