i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
