I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize