i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
