no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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