i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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