school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
