My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize