My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Damn victory sex feels great
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
