Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Randomize
