You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
