You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
