Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize