The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
