Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize