He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
