Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
