Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
