how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
