your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
