so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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