ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
