Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Randomize
