I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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