How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
