you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
