i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
