tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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