Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
