look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
