Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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