tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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