so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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