I showed him my bush... on skype.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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