she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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