Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
