Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize