gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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