But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
