____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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