Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
