remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sorry about my life...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
