he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You are a genius and a whore.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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