Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
