no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
