I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
