i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
