I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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