My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
